According to Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter renowned for his beauty, however he scorned those who admired him.  For this reason, Nemesis, attracted him to a fount, where he saw his reflection in the waters and fell in love with it, without being aware that it was just an image.  As he was not able to leave the beauty of his own reflection, Narcissus eventually died.

By definition, narcissism is “an excessive love for oneself, feelings of superiority, and attention seeking” (Vernon, Villani, Vickers, & Harris).  Moreover, according to Paulus and Williams, the narcissistic personality is characterised by lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement.  All the above though, are referring to individuals, so the question that arises is how does it connect with companies and Sales?

Back in 1978, Hans Morgentau and Ethel Person, introduced the concept of Strategic Narcissism, which is explained in simple words by sales guru Anthony Iannarino as “to define challenges as we would like them to be while ignoring the agency that others have over our results”.  In Sales, unfortunately, most of our approaches resemble the above notion and there are plenty of evidence to support this.  

Think about all these PowerPoint presentations that are usually a monologue, starting with a history lesson about the supplier’s company, followed by a collection of logos of the companies that have worked with them.  Additionally, the products or services offered are described in an excessive way, filled with characteristics and advantages and all these prior to asking any questions to the client regarding their needs and problems that are faced with.  But even when these questions are asked, and the customer’s pain is diagnosed, presenting our solution as the one and only remedy, is also a sign of strategic narcissism.  

The antidote to strategic narcissism Is what the historian Zachary Store describes as “the skill of stepping out of our own heads and into the minds of others”.  This is Strategic Empathy that will help us understand the motivations, emotions and expectations of our customers.  Our agenda as professional salespeople should have this as the starting point and always consider the customer needs in any interaction that we have with them.  A sign of strategic empathy is even to walk away from a potential client or from a project, because our solution is not the best fit for them and the results that they would like to achieve.

In modern Sales, there is a major shift from persuading to understanding, as the customer is the epicenter.  The narcissistic approach to Sales is that clients buy because they understand us, but this is not the case.  As salespeople, we need always to remind ourselves that customers buy because they feel that we understand them.